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13 reasons why we’re gonna go see Ted this weekend (and why you probably should too)

1. He was on the cover of Rollin’ Stoned

Ted movie Rolling Stoned

(via Facebook)

2. He gives really philosophical advice

Ted movie hangover

(via Facebook)

3. He knows LeBron is a traitor and a dick


(via Twitter)

4. He drinks Captain Morgan and eats Captain Crunch for breakfast (what he calls an “El Captain”)

Ted movie Captain MorganCrunch

(via Facebook)

5. The poses in Playboy and the ladies love him (also: boobs)

Ted movie Playboy

(via Facebook

6. He makes beautiful works of art (Ted’s “Fancy Gentlemen of Yore with Porno Dicks in Their Faces”)


(via Tumblr)

7. He dreams about becoming a ninja with x-ray vision who can fly

Ted movie ninja

(via Facebook)

8. He’s 420 friendly (OK that’s an understatement: he gets really f*cking stoned)

Ted movie stoned

(via Facebook)

9. He writes epic poetry (like better than Milton ever could)


(via Tumblr)

10. He gives good movie recommendations (Flash! Ah-ahhh, Savior of the Universe!)

Flash Gordon Ted

(via Tumblr)

11. He has his very own “e-card” line “Ted-e-cards”

Ted life ain't nothin but bitches and honey

(via Facebook)

12. He met and drank beers with the Prez (and Michelle)

Ted movie President Obama

(via Facebook)

13. He’s funny as f*ck!

We’ve grown to love this hilarious and dirty little bear over the past few months, ever since the sneak peak at SXSW, and if these 13 reasons still aren’t enough, he has a whole slew of funniness on his blog, Twitter, and Facebook—for a shit ton more of where all of this came from.

Check when Ted is playing in your city and get tickets for this weekend for you and all your friends (or maybe even your mom!). He recommends rippin’ a few bongs before, too.

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.