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“Where you gangsters from?”: Stuart befriends the roof guys and heads to the LBC


With only two episodes left to see if Stuart will land a chance with his LA dream lady, I’m really wondering what’s in store. But is what he really wants just right outside the guest house? With an opening scene of Jessica crashing in his room until the roof is finished, you sense a sort of awkwardness that’s kind of cute. Meaning: could Jessica and Stuart have a potential “thing”? That would be way too easy, right?

Of course while the roofers from Long Beach are hard at work Stuart has to make himself look like he’s the coolest (I mean c’mon, he owns his own web business). Now claiming they’re all in fact “dudes”, he invites himself along for a night out with the boys in the LBC. Which is good, because Stuart needs a little getaway from the Hollywood scene to roughen him up a bit.

Promising Stuart the ultimate (and easiest!) Long Beach chick fix-up, the guys try getting him together with their girl Erika aka “Easy E” (she is a total nympho!). But any opportunity of that happening is quickly diminished immediately by a very, very important taco rendezvous to confront some sh*t talkers. Things get rough for a minute, but all is good in the end when Stuart makes it back to the club in time to…do some cocaine!

Being the sort of pushover he is (if anyone remembers him buying half the nightclub shots back in episode 2), Stuart ends up in a dirty bathroom blowing rails with some guy named Pube. Probably not the greatest of circumstances (or neighborhoods, for that matter) to find love, but hey, an adventure nevertheless!

While Stuart’s out experiencing the Cali life Jessica agrees to watch Wade’s daughter after convincing him he can save his marriage by showing up at Marian’s work after their 30 day separation expires. And it’s very, very sad, because Wade is blinded by the hope him and his wife still have a chance. So any An Officer and a Gentlemen-type romanticism Wade had hoped for is crushed by the reality of him and his soon-to-be ex drinking coffee in her work’s break room.

Jessica gets some invaluable advice from Wade’s daughter who makes her second guess her “relationship” with Glenn, and I really hope she drops him soon because it’s pretty clear what he’s in it for. And any well-respected woman knows the “if he doesn’t spend the night it’s not for real” rule, so when Glenn ditches out after they hookup Jessica seems to about have had it.

Surprisingly Stuart didn’t make a complete and total jerk of himself this episode, but thinking things might go back in that inevitable direction next episode in “The Wedding”.

Episode 6 Stuartisms:

    • “You wankers!”
    • “Working class dudes. If they smell you are not one of them, they will fleece you.”
    • “Oh look at me, I’m a fan of the Chicago Squids!”
    • “Wood’s a good idea for any kinda construction. They’ve been using it for generations.”
    • “Chicks dig the crib.”
    • “Good to have some real men in the neighborhood for a change.”
    • “That’s an interesting combination of flavors….”
    • “Not oral sex but spoke on the phone…”
    • “She was just my slump buster.”
    • “Cube… Your name is cube?”
    •  “I actually came here because they promised me a slump buster.”
    • “You know what Lads, I’ve had a lovely night but….”
    • “I almost gave him a beat down but I didn’t need to in the end, which is good.”
    • “I own my own web design business.”
    • “I like your nose ring.”
    • “I got a hot tub, yeah.”
    • “I was sucking his cock.”
    • “Can I walk to the train station from here?”
    • “Let’s just do some bloody cocaine!”

(photo via Paste)

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.