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Turn around and drop your pants: does anybody really know what happened in “The Crash?”

I was a little bit scared while watching “The Crash,” partially because everyone was on speed (even Game of Thrones seemed tame compared to this week’s Mad Men!), but mostly because the entire time I was worried Don was going to have a heart attack. Oh, and Grandma Ida! How could you forget the secretly lovable and very quotable Grandma Ida?

But in the case of one of the “trippier,” “WTF!” episodes, it was quite an adventure watching “The Crash.” It begins with an intense car ride with Ken and important Chrysler people, and they’re messing with him pretty badly while he’s driving—eventually causing them to crash. When he comes back to the office, no one seems to give a care about his near-death experience (they’re busy eating mystery sandwiches!), because Chrysler didn’t like any of the pitches. So therefore Ken could have died and it wouldn’t of even mattered, because the deal has yet to be sealed.

Don takes an “urgent” call from “Dr. Rosen,” who turns out to really be Mrs. Sylvia in disguise, calling to order Don not go lurk outside her apartment any longer. I mean, smoking one cigarette outside somebody’s apartment = sorta creepy, but smoking outside somebody’s apartment all night long? C’mon, Don. Get over it! “We cannot go on like this,” she says in tears. Don, of course completely ignoring any emotion at all whatsoever, tells her to “stop crying” and to “listen to him” (typical!). Thank GOD Sylvia refuses to fall into his infamous Draper ways, and the two’s affair comes to an end. Unless his, um, “master pitch” actually works…

In an attempt to get everyone back to the drawing boards in high spirits (like, really high spirits!), as Ken brought back no good news regarding Chrysler, Cutler calls in “Dr. Feelgood” to give everyone a little, “kick in the ass.” Literally. The “complex vitamin,” aka speed, has an effect of uber-high levels of confidence and energy. Best part? It’s shot up your butt! And what happens when you give a buncha guys with huge egos ego-inducing drugs? Well, “The Crash,” obviously.

Everyone’s reaction to the drug is different. At one extreme you have the creatives (minus Peggy and Ginsberg), knife-throwing at Stan (who had a very Jimmy McNulty weekend, to say the least!) acting completely ridiculous (him and Peggy almost get it on!). And at the other, you have Don, whose reaction is more of an emotional one (like, enough of the whorehouse flashbacks, already!); he keeps envisioning his messed-up childhood (you know, how he lost his v-card to a prostitute named Aimee), and he’s walkin’ around the office like a crazed idiot when really he should be coming up with pitches for Chrystler. Except for really he’s coming up with pitches to get Sylvia back. Talk about crazy! But no one is funnier than Ken. Cosgrove—who gave a legendary performance dancin’ around like some professional.

But nothing even matters in Don Draper Land, nope, because we are introduced to the very promiscuous hippie chick Wendy, who just so happens to come across a stethoscope and draws the inevitable conclusion that Don’s heart is in fact very broken. I’m not sure what purpose she serves in “The Crash,” other than her very obvious sleeziness triggering Don’s flashbacks. Thankfully Don didn’t go along with it, but she ends up with Stan, anyway—which is practically a match made in heaven!

Megan seems to think buying Sally new boots will make up for the fact she’s neglecting the kids to go out and try to get roles in hit plays, and after coming home way too late one night, the Drapers got a back door “visit” from Grandma Ida. I was confused at first by her, because she knew so much about Don; I figured this was an awkward introduction to trying to assimilate Don’s weird family ties. But of course it’s all a plot to rob them blind. And I mean, at what age is it appropriate to tell your daughter her “real” grandmother is an ex-prostitute? Oh, how about having Bobby Draper on the show has finally paid off with his unforgettable one-liner: “Are we negros?” Ohh Bobby…

It was fun to get a sort of “Lynchian” episode this week, as “The Crash” felt a bit all over the place (OK a LOT all over the place). But I’m hoping we get a more solid second-to-last hour in before season 6’s finale. And still need some more (a lot more!) Roger, please (Cc: Matthew Weiner).


  • “Why don’t you take a nap? Your face looks like a bag of walnuts.” –Roger
  • “No one cares that I almost got killed?” –Ken
  • “You have got to stop loitering in my hallway!” –Sylvia
  • “When you start something like this, it takes a lot of convincing.” –Sylvia
  • “You EARNED it? On what street corner?” –Betty (buuurn!)
  • “I hate how dying makes saints about people.” –Anonymous CGC creative
  • “Peggy do you remember when we had soup?” –Don
  • “I need you to turn around and drop your pants.” –Cutler’s “Doc,” aka Dr. Feelgood
  • Why do you wanna do a play? You’re on TV everyday, don’t they know that?” –Bobby
  • “I’m wasting my Saturday with lunatics.” –Ginsberg
  • “You’re lucky I don’t like beards.” –Peggy
  • “Because it’s my JOB!!!” –Ken (his “dance” will forever go down in Mad Men history)
  • “Where’d you learn that?” –Don “My mother. No! My first girlfriend!” –Ken
  •  “One great idea can win someone over.” –Don
  • “I can’t hear anything. I think it’s broken.” –Wendy
  • “Your mama don’t know how to take care of nobody.” –Aimee
  • “I’ve had loss in my life; you’ve gotta let yourself feel it. You can’t dampen it with drugs and sex. It won’t get you through.” –Peggy
  • “You’ve got a great ass.” –Stan
  • “When I come back, you best be sleepin’!” –Grandma Ida
  • “Come over here and give a hug to your Grandma Ida!” –Ida
  • “She’s off on the casting couch, and what does he tell everybody, hes at work?” –Betty
  • “Then again, I don’t really know you.” –Sally
  • “Every time we get a car, this place turns into a whore house.” –Don

(photo via The AV Club)

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.