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TASTEMAKERS and GROUNDBREAKERS: Hello Ladies “The Dinner” review

“To an evening of good conversation and better friends”

In the case of Stuart wanting desperately to date that stupid blonde girl on the Hollywood Boulevard billboard, this time he’s convinced he’ll meet his fantasy mate tagging along with Jessica to the gay club. Because duh: all straight women go to the gay clubs “so there’s not a bunch of guys there competing to get our numbers,” as put by Jessica on her way out.

Begging to have his way for a night to potentially meet a bunch of gorgeous models, Jessica finally gives in to letting him come after Stuart bribes her with giving out his wi-fi code—totally ditching Wade on movie night (Sense and Sensibility!).

Of course everyone is there (this is the gay club we’re talking about here), including Amelia (Jenny Slate) and her posse of “tastemakers” and “groundbreakers”, one being Margot (Jessica Lundy) who’s known mostly for her fabulous dinner parties (and Marc Jacobs lets her borrow skirts!). “So then you’re going on Saturday?” Amelia annoyingly asks Jessica after Margot walks by. “If pos. Super busy.” Right.

To make sure Jessica’s invite is official, she desperately approaches Margot at the bar. “I love, LOVE your skirt!!! Is it one of yours?” Then we find out the two had campaigned for Obama once upon a time together, and after some serious awkwardness, Jessica is finally invited to her dinner party Saturday.

Meanwhile Stuart’s way uncoordinated dance moves float around the dance floor jumping in on random strangers’ body shots and grinding on random chicks (so not really too successful). When some cute ginger guy bumps into him and asks how tall he is, Stuart, thinking the guy’s trying to hit on him, brushes him off as a creep. But Stuart suddenly notices a bunch of hot chicks swarming him (they will f*ck anything that moves!), and suddenly there’s a bit of guilt because this guy just so happens to run a modeling agency. “Sometimes I think if someone’s making fun of my height I get a little bit, uhh…” Sure, Stuart.

There’s at least some success leaving the gay club, in that the two are actually going to the dinner party at Margot’s. “I’m going to leave the price on them so they know how much we spent,” which, my God! Stuart is the cheapest ever. “Don’t push it tonight,” Jessica scolds before they head to the dinner, foreshadowing quite a disaster.

And who does Stuart think he is at this party, anyway (he even interrupts the toast)? Every moment is filled with him and Jessica desperately trying to prove them selves worthy to a crowd who frankly doesn’t give a care, especially after Andy’s boyfriend reveals he’s THE Vanity Editor at Vanity Fair (he discovered Anne Hathaway when she was a nobody!), and suddenly Amelia and Jessica are at it again to possibly be the next nobody featured in the Vanity section.

Amelia performs a bit from her West Side Story gig, leaving everyone in awe of her voice (somehowwww, somedayyyy, somewhereeee…), and Jessica, who’s “more of a dancer,” decides it’s a good idea to tape quarters to her flats and perform a tap routine. Like, you know, tap dancing: a much sought-after talent in the entertainment biz that all struggling actresses should pursue. Needless to say this embarrassing stunt leaves everyone literally in silence, broken thankfully by the cue to head over to Margot’s hot tub. But don’t think for one second things get any less worse than they already have for Jessica and Stuart, who shouldn’t even be at the party in the first place. They end up getting the boot after Stuart tells an over-the-top gay “joke” that’s actually super offensive.

Maybe if Stuart Pritchard wasn’t such a pretentious dick who thought everyone was hitting on him all the time trying to impress everyone with stupid jokes from the Internet, he’d actually have a chance at meeting a good girl. And who knows, maybe even make some actual friends! Whatever the case may be for his insistent ridiculousness, it possibly ruined any chances the two had in getting ins with the tastemakers.

Stuart might get to redeem himself next episode with another pool party in Hollywood. But judging by the events in “The Dinner”, I’m sensing this too could be a comical disaster.

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.