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Straight GHOSTED: on the disappearance of a seemingly fine-going relationship

“It happens!” So they say. You meet a pretty cool guy, things start to take off in what you thought was the right direction, and the next thing you know you’re hiring a ghost hunter because YES: they have disappeared forever. It’s over. You’ve just been ghosted.

Not to be confused with the Tinder unmatch epidemic, I heard the term back in June when Charlize Theron apparently used the “technique” on her ongoing relationship with Sean Penn. But as I got more experienced in my own dating life I was no stranger to the ghosting phenomenon; it’s nothing personal, it’s just maybe the person got really busy, or maybe they weren’t feelin’ it as much as you thought, or maybe they really did lose their phone for six months—shit, maybe they were abducted by aliens!

The fact of the matter is: you just don’t know, and you will probably never know. As much as you want to send that “FUCK YOU FOREVER” text message (most of you probably have), you’re better off re-downloading Tinder back and blasting Jay-Z’s “On to the Next” to forget about this dude/chick forever (minus those haunting moments where you remember the loss of your “really great” relationship; those will happen, and those moments will suck.)

I made the mistake of continuing to send text messages to a ghoster. We met at a bar in Brooklyn, we were both from Ohio, we both had Nikes on, we both loved football, HE asked ME for MY number, and we made out a bunch. I mean I was pretty much ready to send the relationship request on Facebook at this point, but after a week or so there was the first 24 hour period of a “no text back” (which we all know those 24 hours can feel like an eternity).

“Can’t say I didn’t try, shitttt,” I said. Silence. “Still want to chill?” Silence. It’s an unsettling feeling. I was devastated. I shouldn’t have been, because we knew each other for so little, but ghosting is a really terrible phenomenon has changed the dynamic of dating for the worse.

Ever since it first happened to me, now every guy I see there is that slight worry they will just disappear, even if we did have the best night ever. Which is not a thing people should have to feel. But here we are!

My advice to anyone who has been ghosted: people who are so quick to come into your life will be just as quick to step out, and in this day and age unfortunately this is something you have to expect. And while I hope it doesn’t happen to you, high-hoped reader, just know that it might.

(photo via Deviant Art)

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.