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A typical night in Hollywood: Jessica doesn’t want to sit around and talk about gluten, Wade’s wife hates him, and more Stuart fails in episode 2 of Hello Ladies

“Just three dudes having fun. Nothing weird.”

Stuart has this way of making everything all about him AND making people highly uncomfortable. At least that’s the recurring theme in a series of awkward run-ins during episode 2 “The Limo”, when poor Wade gets denied by his own wife when he asks her out on a fancy date in a stretch limousine (she basically told him she replaced him with a sex toy.)

Seeing the more positive side of things, or in other words: how this could turn into them possibly getting laid, Stuart takes matters into his own hands, convincing Wade a night out on the town with the guys in a fancy limousine will make everything better. Wade is immediately on board (Stuart just has that effect!), and the next thing you know, it’s game time.

Jessica, totally not impressed with the whole limo scheme—“I’ve seen a long car before”—making fun of the guys acting like teenagers going to prom. But if there were any key takeaways from the episode, it’s that you “don’t disrespect the limo.” You just don’t. Right when her actress friends arrive at the “salon” to discuss “art, culture, philosophy, or politics” (mmmhm, sure), Stuart and the guys are about to leave in the limo. “Sorry, you must think I’m a terrible showoff. You’ve caught me admiring my limousine,” Stuart says, in mind you, a totally serious way; but they aren’t too impressed and deny his invitation.

Which, they probably should have just taken him up on the offer, because the night in at Jessica’s turned into discussing the washing of hair, Gwynyth Paltrow’s prescribed gluten-free/sugar-free/meat-free/egg-free/shellfish-free diet, and watching everyone’s favorite 1925 Russian hit: Battleship Potemkin.


After the ladies’ conversation runs dry and the movie turns out to be a bust, Jessica has a change of heart and rings Stuart to pick them up. Seeing as he just failed to get into The Ambassador Room despite his audacious attempts (and possibly the funniest scene ever of him backing out the limo), he suddenly has hope of vibing with one of Jessica’s hot friends and eventually getting into the club.

It’s not that Stuart is just a plain jerk, it’s that, he’s a jerk whose expectations are so high it’s virtually impossible to fill his picture perfect “model with a PhD in philosophy” (the “smart lady”) fantasy ideal. And even when he finally does get a chance at making a connection with one of the St. Louis tourists, as soon as something “better” comes along (Jessica’s friends who all end up having boyfriends / fiances), he acts like a total asshole to the one who was actually interested in the first place. Typical asshole guy.

Next week it’s looking like Stuart might land a date with the cute smoothie girl at his yoga studio, but will he totally blow it?

(photo via HBO)

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Kaitlin Duffy is a writer from Cleveland. When she's not blogging or pondering the great complexities of the world and outer space, she is finding rare vinyl steals, visiting new places, laughing often, Instagramming everything in sight, watching movies, or working on her first feature Port de Cleve.