Uhh, remember when GOT was 9 episodes deep and “The Rains of Castamere” aka “The Red Wedding” left us all in basically a horrible mess of a state not knowing how to ever really move on from those, those SCENES? And then Daenerys Targaryen was left without beloved Drogon in exchange for the golden whip (and an army of nippleless soldiers!)? And Sansa was forced into wedding Tyrion who really loves his noble mistress Shae? Meanwhile, Joffrey is off on some power tripped rage somewhere and it’s all just awful as we await the April 6th premiere of HBO’s favorite show Game of Thrones. But the cost of war is the cost of war, no matter who is left dead bleeding (ALL MEN MUST DIE). And in season 4 we have a hell of a lot to look forward to, but first here’s some images to get you ready for the now less than 1 week countdown of let’s face it: the best f*cking show on television.
In honor of A Feast of Crows, HBO2 will air a 60-hour marathon Friday, April 4th starting at 9AM from the very beginning to get you pumped for the new season. So, you know, if you have a whole weekend to spare and nothing really going on I’d say you’re in luck. Season 3’s finale will end just in time for Game of Thrones‘ scheduled April 6th premiere date at 10PM.
“If they only KNEW who the TRUE Queen will be… And how big my DRAGONS are getting. Hehehehhe. Oh, and my nipple-less soldiers.”
“I’m an awfully terrible human being and I don’t deserve to even LIVE, but GIVE ME MY IRON THRONE, AND GOD DAMN IT… where are my whores???”
“Maybe if I just faked my own death I could get off the Night’s Watch and finally fall in love and escape all these fake heroes…”
“I know, I f*cked my brother and my son is the devil. But… we’re going to rule the kingdom. Aren’t we??? Give me more wine!!!”
“I love you, Shae, I just can’t BE with you. But you’ll still get a really nice house, and lots of wine, and sex with me whenever you want!!!”
“WHERE. IS. JOHN. SNOW??? Where IS that little bastard? I could…I could…I could KILL HIM! I mean I LOVE him!”
[INSERT AWKWARD BRUNCH CAPTION HERE]
“I got mad skillz. Like, killin’ people skills. Yeah… they call me ‘The Hound’. What of it? Oh, and I love me some Arya. She’s my main b*tch.”
“I might still only be a maid but by I swear on the holy Night’s Watch that I will be QUEEN! And ridden the world of evil Cersei and that disgusting MONSTER Joffrey…Can you believe I had sex with him?! What was I THINKING?”
BFFs forever (that just so happen to love killing everyone).